


This Ain't Love It's Clear To See

by tardiscrashing



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Arguing, Bottom Louis, Flashbacks, Jealous Louis, Love/Hate, M/M, Riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1953579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardiscrashing/pseuds/tardiscrashing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis shut the door behind him inside the guest bathroom, and plastered himself against the wall, taking a deep breath. Why was Nick so fucking infuriating? Why did he have to smile at Harry like that and parade around with him and why did everyone have to know? Why did the media fucking care?</p><p>And why couldn’t Nick do all of that with him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Ain't Love It's Clear To See

**Author's Note:**

> written for the Tomlinshaw fic exchange. 
> 
> Partly inspired by "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith, which I suggest you listen to as you read this.
> 
> This takes place during Jan-Feb of 2014, when Harry was off in LA for all that time. 
> 
> Big thanks to my beta.

“Hey!” Harry poked his head into Louis’ bedroom, catching the older boy lost in his FIFA game, as was a common sight these days. The two of them had barely hung out ever since Harry got back from his month long excursion to LA. Harry knew Louis liked to keep a low profile to avoid rumours, but they usually did something. Went out with Zayn or met up with Liam or even just spent a night in watching a film and sharing dinner. Harry would even comply to play video games with Louis if that’s what he wanted. Especially after having been away so long, and spending his birthday with an entirely different group of people, which wasn’t his original plan, it had just happened that way. Harry wondered if maybe Louis was mad at him for having been gone so long. He had been back a week already, rehearsals for tour were starting soon and they wouldn’t have a lot of free time. At this point, Harry was going to hang out with Louis if he had to club Louis over the head and drag him out the door.

“So…I got invited to go hang out with some people. I think we’re just going to go to have drinks and hang out and play card games and stuff. Real lax night. You want to join?” Harry asked in an eager tone.

“Who’s going?”

“Well, me for starters. And also Gemma, and I think Daisy...you know, Daisy Lowe, you’ve met her. And…Grim.” Harry squeaked out Nick’s name, like maybe Louis would miss it, maybe Louis would be too caught up on a night with model Daisy Lowe. But Louis’ expression told him no such luck.

“Mmmm…” Louis’ lips pressed together in a disgruntled expression, “No thanks Haz. I’m sort of really into this game anyway. Think I’ll just stay home tonight.” 

Harry sighed, “Come on Lou, I’ve barely seen you since I’ve been back. Every time I want to hang out you always say you’re busy, or you want to play your game. What’s up? Are you mad at me or something? Or do you hate Nick that much that you can’t put your differences aside for one night…for me?”

Louis paused the game, turning around to see Harry hugging the door frame, another of those stupid bandanas wrapped around his head. 

“No, I just don’t feel like going out. I want to stay here.”

Harry’s pleading face was the worst. Those eyes would get anyone. When he pouted it was a wonder there wasn’t an advert on TV with sad music asking you to adopt him. Louis sighed, setting the controller down.

“Fine. I’ll come.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Really. My god Harold I can’t hardly bear that face of yours looking so sad. If it means that much to you, I’ll go. And you’re right, I haven’t paid much attention to you since you got back and I’m sorry. So let’s just go out and have a good night.” Louis pulled his beanie down over his ears, checking himself in the mirror quickly before he met Harry at his bedroom door and followed him out.

Nick’s house turned out to be where they were going. Harry had failed to mention that and Louis was starting to regret his decision a bit. But as they walked in the front door, Louis noticed Gemma, and was quite glad to see her. 

Harry waved to Gemma as they rounded the corner, and she jumped up and came to hug both of them. Over her shoulder Louis could see Daisy, who waved at him. And there sat on the end of the couch, staring Louis down with a smartass look on his face, was Nick. Louis sighed, he could already feel the length of the night dragging out. 

“I want to be by Harry.” Gemma claimed, clutching Harry’s arm, “Louis you can sit down there by Grimmy.”

Louis looked back at Harry, his ‘seriously?’ face plastered on. “Be nice.” Harry whispered in his direction.

Gemma cheerfully pulled Harry into the chair beside her, Louis watching Nick’s expression as he approached and sat down near him. 

“Hello Louis.”

Louis bit at his bottom lip, “Hi.” Louis waited for something to happen. A snide remark, some dig at his hair, anything. But Nick did little more than acknowledge him. Was Nick ignoring him?

“Hello Louis, it’s nice to see you again.” Daisy greeted him.

“Hi Daisy, you alright?” Louis began exchanging niceties with the other people in the room, figuring it would be the best way out of this awkward situation. Daisy smiled at him, answering his question and going on. And though Louis was looking at Daisy and he could see her lips moving, his brain wasn’t taking in anything she was saying right now. Because he could see Nick’s hand sitting centimeters away from his own. And his heart was pounding.

~~~  
Louis sighed loudly as he turned the volume on the TV up even louder. He didn’t know what Nick was doing upstairs but he was sure making an awful ruckus. Nick never came over to theirs. Never. Harry always went to his house. Louis could fucking see why if this is what Nick was like as a house guest. He had been over almost every day this week for one excuse or another. Today he had burst in late this morning, claiming he had to find some clothes he had let Harry borrow as he wanted to wear them to a weekend event. He had been upstairs for half an hour. 

“For fuck’s sake.” Louis threw the remote down and pushed himself off the couch, marching up the stairs and into Harry’s bedroom to find a pile of clothes on the bed, and Nick buried head first in the closet. 

“Grimshaw! What the hell are you doing? I knew you lived out of Haz’s back pocket, but seriously?”

“I didn’t realise how many of my clothes Harold still had. No wonder my closets been so empty.” Nick pulled out a red jumper, “Hmm…not mine but it would look nice on.” He held it up to himself.

“No. No. Nope, out. You’re done.” Louis stepped in front of Nick, pushing him back, “Get what you came for, get out, and don’t come back.”

“That’s a bit rude Louis. Is that how you treat your guests?” Nick feigned.

Louis frowned, “You’re not a guest. You’re an annoyance. You’re lucky I even let you come in here.”

“Oh? And where would you have rather I come?” Nick’s lips curled up in a smirk. Louis knew he was waiting for a reaction. Waiting for him to make a face or some snide remark, but Louis wasn’t going to give him that pleasure. Oh no. 

“Out Grimshaw!”

“What’s your problem?”

“You! You’re my problem! Why are you always here? Go wear your own clothes and watch your own bloody television! In case you hadn’t noticed, Harry’s not here. I am. And I’m so fucking tired of you just in and out, popping over, acting like we’re friends when we very much are not. So can you please, for god sakes, please just leave Nick because I…”  
Suddenly two large hands grabbed Louis’ face and pulled him forward into an unexpected warm kiss. And though parts of his mind protested, responded with confusion and even a bit of disgust, his body responded otherwise, with heat, a fluttering heartbeat, and a calm breath. Nick Grimshaw was kissing him. And Louis may have denied it, but he was definitely kissing back. His hands settled well on Nick’s waist, fingers clutching at the skin beneath his t-shirt. When Nick took a step forward Louis followed his stride, and even slid his arms up for a better grip. 

The kiss turned, deepening, mingling their tongues together. Louis didn’t know what this was. Was it a game? Was Nick going to pull away and laugh at him? Talk about this on his radio show tomorrow? Louis heard Nick’s stifled laughter and in a panic, pushed him away.

“If you’re going to fuck around with me Grimshaw…”

“No.” Nick said in soft tones, “No I uh…I was just thinking, its funny is all. That the person I’d end up kissing in this house would be you.”

Louis crinkled his eyebrows, “You and Harry never…?”

“Harry’s one of my best mates. I mean, even if you want to kiss your best mate you don’t, do you? But you…you said it yourself. We’re not even friends, are we? ” Nick brought a hand up to tease at the hair at the back of Louis’ neck, almost as if he were petting him. Louis felt himself trying to fight against the feeling of Nick’s fingers tantalizing his skin. Louis was silent as he looked up, studying Nick’s face. 

“Wait. I don’t want to do this.” Louis spoke softly. “Just…leave when you’re done, lock the door.” 

He pushed past Nick and hurried out the door, leaving the DJ standing in a closet, and very confused.

~~~  
“Louis?” 

“What? Yeah?”

When Louis looked up everyone at the table was staring at him. He wasn’t sure how long he had spaced out, but it was long enough.

“Are you okay?” Daisy asked, taping a deck of cards out of the pack, “Want some water?”

“No I’m alright.” Louis cast his eyes down, trying to mask his embarrassment but being more thankful that no one in the room would know the real reason for it. Except maybe, Nick. Louis looked over at him again, and still he would just look back and smile and act like it was nothing unusual. Like nothing fucking bothered him at all. 

“Hey Harold, mind if I come sit by you for our little game?”

Now he was just rubbing it in.

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind at all, do you Haz?” Louis remarked, his tone drenched in snark.

“No, s’alright. What are we playing anyway?”

“How about Bullshit?” Louis piped up, glaring down at Nick, “I bet some of us here are really good at it.” 

Harry and Gemma exchanged glances, and Nick slung a possessive arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him close, “I’m in. Deal the cards.”

Thus began the most intense game of Bullshit ever. The conversation on Harry’s side was free-flowing, cards being played, Harry blushing when Daisy called him out and he sheepishly took back his play. Louis kept his eyes on the table, barely playing on his turn, holding on to his cards for the longest time.

“Lou, you have to play more of your cards at some point.” Harry said.

“I..uh…” Louis stared down at his hand, then back up, over at Nick who was currently saying something to Harry. Harry nudged his shoulder playfully and Louis could only guess that Nick had made some cheeky joke. “I need to go to the toilet. Skip my turn again.” Louis left his cards face-down, and jumped up.

“Louis!” Gemma yelled after him.

“I said skip my turn!”

Louis shut the door behind him inside the guest bathroom, and plastered himself against the wall, taking a deep breath. Why was Nick so fucking infuriating? Why did he have to smile at Harry like that and parade around with him and why did everyone have to know? Why did the media fucking care?

And why couldn’t Nick do all of that with him?

~~~  
Louis was the last person Nick expected to see when he answered the door. Especially dressed like he was. Baggy grey pajama bottoms, purple hoodie, sunglasses. Nick gave him the once over.

“Are we hiding from the paps Tomlinson?”

“Shut up, I didn’t want anyone to follow me and see me coming over here. Can I come in? We need to talk.”

Nick sighed, moving out of the way and making a grand gesture that Louis could come inside. Once Louis had walked through the door, he immediately took off the hoodie, revealing a tight black shirt underneath, and Nick felt his toes quiver, if that were possible.

“Ironic how you told me to stop coming to yours and now you’re at mine. I’m getting mixed signals here Tomlinson. I….”

“Kiss me.” 

Nick froze, “What?”

“Kiss me.”

“Thought you didn’t want to do that?”

“I don’t know what I want. I just don’t want to be your substitute Harry. I’m not here for that.”

“You’re not. I told you I don’t do that with Harry. You’re different...”

“Don’t say that.” Louis stared back at Nick, pacing in his front room. Nick watched him as he walked, arms folded over his chest, shirt tight enough so his muscles were nicely displayed, and you could still the tiniest bit of tummy on him as his pajama bottoms sat low on his hips. “You know as well as I do this would just be a temporary situation.”

“That’s your decision.” Nick replied.

Louis sighed loudly, “For fuck’s sake. You’re making this really hard.” Louis bit at his lip. 

“I haven’t even gotten started.” Nick coyly replied.

Oh my god Grimshaw! You’re so….you’re so….” This time it was Louis who reached for Nick, standing on his tiptoes to push himself up to Nick’s lips. Nick leaned down to meet Louis, allowing the boy to grab on to him, until he also hooked an arm around Louis’ back and lifted him up, keeping their bodies pressed together. Once Louis felt his feet leave the ground, he hooked his ankles around Nick’s waist and brought his hands up to Nick’s face, his eyes already gone so dark. 

“You are a sight aren’t you?”

Louis stopped, his mouth so hot, buzzing inside wanting to taste more of Nick, “Now this time when I ask you…will you kiss me again?”

“Oh duck, I can do so much more than that.”

~~~  
There was a knock at the door, just as Louis was splashing cold water on his face. 

“Come in.” He mumbled, not looking up and letting the drips run off his cheeks. 

The door opened, and Nick slid in shutting the door softly, gripping the doorknob firmly in his palm. Louis expression instantly shifted to bitch mode, and Nick sheepishly shrugging his shoulders as if he didn’t know Louis was in here. 

“Get out.”

“I want to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Louis made for the door, but Nick stepped in front of him, staring down at the boy, silently pleading. Louis really didn’t want to stay and play stupid games anymore. He didn’t want to sit and watch Nick and Harry giggle and fawn over each other while he sat there remembering how he had bought Nick’s lies and he felt disgusted with himself. Of all people to drop his guard for, it had to be Nick fucking Grimshaw. And now Nick would always have that over him.

“Come on duck, you’ve got it all wrong.”

“I was just a fast fuck wasn’t I? Easy access? All the gay rumours surrounding me you just had to find out if it was true, didn’t you? And what better time to pounce on Harry’s close friend than when he’s gone? I really actually hate you. You took advantage of me, you lied to me, you’ve probably lied to Harry…”

“I never lied to Harry. Or to you. You don’t have to be jealous.”

“Jealous?! I’m not….I wouldn’t….” Louis took a deep breath, “You’ve got a lot of nerve Grimshaw, thinking I would waste my time pining over you, and being jealous. I was never jealous. I wasn’t jealous when you asked Harry out to dinner and I sat at home and ate pizza by myself. I wasn’t jealous when Harry went to that awards show with you and I was up all night with no one to talk too. I wasn’t jealous when I saw you sneak him a goodnight kiss on our front step. And I wasn’t jealous tonight when you sat next to Harry, and you smiled at him the same way you did when you pushed me out of bed the morning after. Don’t you dare think I’m jealous. Being jealous of you and Harry was clearly never worth my time.”

Louis quickly wiped at his eyes with his shirt sleeve, pushed past Nick and flung the bathroom door open.

"Wait! Louis!”

Everyone downstairs had heard Nick shout, and they stopped and looked up to see Louis hurrying down the stairs, going straight for his jacket and car keys. 

“Lou? Are you okay?” Gemma asked.

“I’m sorry Gemma, I just really need to go right now. Harry?”

“Um…I…ok…”

“No, you know what. No, you stay. It would be selfish of me to ask you to leave with me. You’re having fun, you stay.” Louis turned and frowned in Nick’s direction.  
Everyone else also turned to look at Nick.

“Grimmy are you going to say something?” Daisy asked.

For once in his life, Nick had no witty comeback, no quick retort, nor anything to joke about or make comment of. And Louis waited, Louis waited and in his mind he thought ‘Just say anything, anything and I’ll stay damn it.’ But Nick didn’t. He turned and went immediately back up the stairs and Louis out the front door, leaving their three friends alone and quite confused.

~~~  
Louis had slicked his fingers up and slid two into himself, fucking back on his own hand and until he worked himself open enough. He was eyeing Nick’s cock as he straddled him, watching Nick give himself slow lazy strokes.

“Your knee is in my back, move.” Louis groaned.

“Ugh, you’re so bossy. I should be fucking you into this mattress right now, watching your eyes roll back when you come…all over my nice clean bed sheets.”

“I could leave if you want.”

“You can leave…but not walking straight.”

Louis slid up to kiss Nick, his torso pressing down so he could feel Nick’s hardness trapped between them. 

“Now. Now. Inside me now.”

Nick sighed, “Like I said, bossy.”

Nick held himself against the crack of Louis’ asscheeks, rubbing his cock over and teasing, reaching so his own fingers pushed inside of the pop star and Louis bit at his lip. 

“Come on Grimshaw, please.”

Nick moved forward, pushing past the tight ring of muscle as Louis moved back into him, letting out a soft moan almost as if he were suddenly relieved. Nick was big, and Louis could certainly feel him. It had been a hot minute since he’d last had sex with a man, but that feeling, that hot center and warmth that flooded through him was so familiar, and when Louis moved so Nick was nearly out and then pushed back into him nice and slow, it made Louis shiver. 

“Feel good?”

How long could Louis avoid Nick’s eyes? How long before his tough façade gave way to the boy underneath, the one who had thought about kissing Nick right in the middle of his stupid radio show so that the air would go silent and listeners everywhere would have no idea what was going on. Louis wanted that control. He wanted it now. That’s why he was riding Nick with his hand steady on Nick’s chest, and Nick’s eyes fixated on him.

“Why are you staring?” Louis asked.

“Tomlinson, have you seen you? You fucking glow. I should’ve gotten you in my bed a long time ago.”

“You could’ve tried.”

“You are pretty when you talk babe, but you want to put that mouth to better use?”

Louis slid up and molded his mouth onto Nick’s mouth, Nick’s hands trailing down to grab at Louis’ ass and give it a good squeeze, holding Louis’ hips as the boy let out needy moans. Louis shut his eyes, letting himself sink back onto Nick’s cock. When he opened his eyes again, Nick was just watching him, breathing slowly. Louis felt his hair fall loose into his eyes, and Nick reached up to brush the wisps away.

“Do you want me to come like this? Still inside you? You know you’ll be feeling me for days.”

And Nick was right. Louis would feel him for days after. But in the way that coldness hurts your bones and makes your chest ache, like you’re dying from the inside out.

~~~  
Louis was roughly awakened by someone’s pounding at the front door, and he rolled over and groggily grabbed the alarm clock. It read 1:30 in big bright letters.

“Bet the little fucker left his keys.” Louis mumbled into his pillow, before throwing the duvet off and marching downstairs in his underwear.

The knocking continued.

“I’m coming! Jesus Harry if you’d remember your fucking keys for the hundredth time I….” Louis flung the door open, and was met not with Harry, but the shivering figure of Nick Grimshaw.

“Hiya duck.” 

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in? It’s kind of cold.”

Louis folded his arms across his chest, “Fine, come in, but only because I’m cold too and I want to close the door.”

Nick hurried in as he was already shivering. A winter morning in London could certainly be unforgiving. When Louis shut the door, he turned around, but he hadn’t a moment to scowl at Nick before Nick was kissing him. Nick’s cold fingers on his bare skin, the warmth beneath the chill of his lips, Louis would be hard in moments if he kept this up.  
He pushed Nick back.

“Did Harry tell you to come here? Did you tell him what happened between us?”

“No! I didn’t say anything. He fell asleep on the couch and I snuck out.”

“Really?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Tomlinson…you’re not fooling me. You’re jealous.” 

Louis scowled, Nick’s face in a know-it-all smirk. He didn’t know why the hell he had let Nick in. Should’ve told him to fuck off. Now Nick was in his house and Louis felt vulnerable, and he hated feeling vulnerable. 

“You don’t know anything. Get out!”

“No. I’m not leaving. We need to have this out.”

“I get it! We fucked, it’s over, and you’re not interested because I’m not the curly-haired one.”

Nick turned and all but pushed him against the nearest wall, crowding into Louis’ personal space. Nick’s eyes were cold and dark, he towered over Louis like Louis was suddenly aware of his height. Nick’s hands went side by side around him, and Louis found himself inches from Nick’s face. If not for his anger, he would’ve kissed him again.

“I told you this has nothing to do with Harry! I like you Louis. I really like you. I’ve always liked you. But you never let yourself feel things. You’ve got such a guard up. Harry is open and loving and so completely himself. All the things you keep from me, Harry gives. But I was never involved with him, so like I said, you can stop being jealous. “

Louis pushed Nick away, as hard as he could, shaking the other man off his feet a bit. Nick reached out and grabbed Louis, pulling them both into the wall in something of a desperate kiss. Louis was still angry, but he needed to kiss Nick. He had to kiss him. When their lips parted, Louis reached up and grabbed Nick’s wrists, as if trying to keep him there. Louis didn’t say anything. Only opened his eyes and found his fingers burrowing into the fabric of Nick’s shirt, his eyes welling up as he held on tightly.

“Sorry duck. I never should’ve come over tonight.”

“But since you did…you might as well stay.” 

Nick didn’t know why, but even through Louis’ complaints and attitude and bickering, he had Nick in the palm of his hand. So he agreed. And when Harry came in the next morning, and found the two of them laid on the couch together, although he would never admit it to them, he wasn’t surprised. But he was a little jealous.


End file.
